Unhappy And Lonely In A Sexless Marriage?

A sexless marriage is where the couple has very little or no sexual activity. Sex is a human need and when this need is not met it can cause an individual to become frustrated, angry, lower self-esteem, they may also feel rejected and lonely.

There are many possible causes of a sexless marriage.  We will look at the reasons that could have lead to this situation and share questions that will help you to move forward. 

How did you find yourself in a sexless marriage?

Raising Children


Having children can reduce the amount of sexual activity in a relationship.  A baby is fully dependant on its caregivers, if the baby is not sleeping during the night this will have an effect on the couple, leaving them deprived of sleep.  A woman may experience post-pregnancy illnesses or hormone imbalance which may be temporary or permanent.


Work Commitments

A demanding work schedule can leave one or both parties exhausted and too tired to physically participate in sexual activity.  A demanding work schedule includes work inside and outside of the home. Having a large family or family members who are sick and require additional care may also take its toll on an individual. Stress can cause a sexless marriage.





Resentment is another reason why a sexless marriage may occur.  One partner may feel that there is an imbalance of duties and responsibilities.


One or both of the couple may have a health condition which drastically reduces their desire for sex or they may not be physically able to participate. 

Medications for common health issues like high blood pressure, depression, anxiety, stomach ulcers, fungal infections could be having an impact on your sexual desire.

An increase or decrease in weight may have an effect on how a person views their body image which could have an impact on their self-esteem.  The change of body weight could a cause the partner to find them less attractive.

Past Trauma and Beliefs

An individual may have experienced abuse in the past and is unable to deal with being intimate.  Being intimate may trigger past incidents of abuse.


Being bored of having sex in the same way, at the same time in the same position every time can cause some to go off sex altogether.

Infidelity can be a reason for a sexless marriage.  The cheating partner may no longer have the energy to participate in marital sex or the other partner may have found out about the affair and refuses to participate in any sexual activity.


Some couples may be married only for legal purposes. A marriage of convenience in order to gain citizenship into a country or another reason maybe to hide an individual’s sexual orientation.


Conflict in marriage could also be another cause of a sexless marriage, one partner rejecting the other and withdrawing sexual activity as a punishment.


A sexless marriage can develop if one or both of the couple are just not interested in being intimate. They may have a mutual agreement to obtain from sex.


The couple may hold specific views about sex, religious or moral views, avoiding sexually transmitted diseases or conception.


When one or both partners have a communication issue and they’re unhappy in a sexless marriage this can develop into a complex situation.


Are you unhappy about the way your marriage is right now?


What have you tried so far?


What are your biggest challenges?


Name three things that you could do try help you and your partner to move forward.


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