Marriage Jokes

Best Marriage Jokes| Husband And Wife Story Jokes

A wife was sitting in her bedroom applying her makeup.

Suddenly her husband bursts into the bedroom.

‘’CAREFUL!’’ ‘’CAREFUL’’ ‘’Don’t apply too much pressure when putting on your foundation.’’ shouted the husband.

‘’Don’t poke your eyes with that eyeliner ‘’BE CAREFUL!’’  ‘’SLOW DOWN with blending that contour.’’ ‘’CAREFUL!’’ said the husband.

Don’t forget the setting spray! ‘’Setting spray!’’ ‘’SETTING SPRAY!’’ shouted the husband.

‘’Honey, what is going on? I know how to apply makeup just fine.’’ said the wife.

‘’Well honey, I just wanted to show you what I have to put up with when I’m driving.’’ said the husband.

After last night’s argument with her husband.

A woman wanted to prove how smart she really is.

She wanted to prove to her husband that any goal she sets she can achieve.

So when he left for work that early tuesday morning.

She got to work.

When her husband arrived back home.

He saw the whole living room was painted with a beautiful color.

Wow! He said looking around his living room.

But his happiness turned to confusion when he saw his wife laying on the floor panting wearing two coats.

‘’Honey this living room looks amazing, I’m so sorry for what I said yesterday. But why are you lying on the floor wearing two coats.’’ said the husband.

‘’Thank you honey, I accept your apology. The reason I’m lying here with two coats is because at the back of the paint can it said for best results apply two coats!’’

A Mother and daughter were relaxing on the beach.

‘’What a beautiful day it is, lets do a breaststroke race.’’ said the mother.

So they got up from where they were sitting and walked to the sea.

‘’Here are the rules, we swim to that big rock and then swim back.’’ said the mother.

It was 7 and a half minutes later and the mother arrived back.

She eventually sat down as she waited and waited for her daughter to return.

Finally after a whopping 54 minutes later her daughter arrives painting.

‘’What took you so long, it’s nearly sunset!.’’ said the mother.

‘’It’s not fair you used your arms mom!’’ said the daughter.

A husband and wife were chatting until the wife realized that they had run out of juice, so she made her way to the shop.

Shortly after she left, her husband went outside to check the mailbox.

He slammed the mailbox shut and went back inside the house.

Shortly after he came outside again and opened his mailbox and slammed it even harder than the time before.

He came out of his house for the third time, but this time his wife was parking her car into the garage and could see her husband slam the mailbox shut.

‘’Darling what is going on?’’asked the wife.

All the neighbours were watching them both at this point.

‘’Honey, I’m so confused the computer keeps saying ‘’You’ve got mail.’’explained the husband.

A husband is at work when he gets a phone call from his wife.

‘’Aaron! I’m being robbed and I need ice cream to get rid of the robber!’’ said the wife.

The husband was so scared that his wife was being robbed that he went to the nearest shop to get the ice cream without even thinking why.

When he arrived home he saw his wife curled up on the sofa.

‘’Honey are you okay?’’ shouted the husband.

‘’Yes,’’ said the wife.

‘’Where is the robber?’’ asked the husband.

‘’The robber is always here at this time of the month robbing one of my eggs that’s why I needed the ice-cream.’’ said the wife.

Two male friends met up for something to eat at a restaurant.

‘’How is life right now?’’ asked the first man.

‘’Life is great, but tomorrow my wife and I are going to see my parents.’’ said the second man.

That’s great isn’t it?’’ said the first man.

‘’Yes, but every time my wife gives my mom a gift she hates it!’’ said the second man.

‘’Then tell your wife to buy your mom something that is similar to what she already has.’’ said the first man.

A few months had passed

‘’Did your mom like the gift?’’ asked the first man.

‘’Bro, she loved the gift!’’ said the second man.

Then why do you look so sad?’’ asked the first man.

‘’My dad hated it! said the second man.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *